A Short Fat Ginger Guide to Dancing - part 2

Anyway, so in part one we covered not dancing, but what about dancing? As I have mentioned it is important to have some alcohol in your bloodstream and we would recommend three times the legal limit as a minimum. As the old maxim goes, “if you’re still safe to drive, you can’t do that jive”. However, it is important to understand that there are two stages to dance drinking, the pre-dance drink and the at-floor drink.

The Pre-Dance Drink

As the name suggests the pre-dance drink is intended to get your blood alcohol up to get you on the floor. Think of this like football players warming up before a match when they do that funny running sort of sideways where they swivel their hips every few steps and look a bit like Kevin Bacon in Footloose (see Chapter Two, Getting on the dance floor). Depending how quickly you want to get there almost any drink will do for the Pre-Dance.

For women, some suggestions might be:

• Two large glasses of wine
• Two double gin and tonics (or any large spirits with mixer will do)
• One Bacardi Breezer (if you drink Bacardi Breezers, one will be enough for pre-dance or you can skip this step completely)
  

For men, some ideas could include:

• Three pints of lager;[1]
  
  

Remember – although it is important to have Pre-Dance, take it easy, you should be aware of the risks of too much at this point which can lead to producing your biggest and best moves too earlier meaning you have nowhere to go. A simple test is that the right level will lead you to say things like “I want to dance” whereas if you say, “Let’s bust a move” or suggest you might ‘shake your thang’, you have had too much.


[1] we acknowledge that lager is not the only acceptable drink for men, the other being real ale. However, come on, if you drink real ale are you really going to be dancing? Imagine a CAMRA disco. Just picture that in your head. Beers, bellies, beards and boogie? No, thought not.
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