Recently I heard about something called morphic resonance and sheep rolling over cattle grids on opposite sides Australia at the same time proving there was some kind of magic field. Clearly tosh. There were a few people chipping in with ideas about how this could happen, when the blindingly obvious struck me. Clearly some higher power was at work. A sheep god? Initially this might sound ridiculous (it is) but then I looked back at what I’d learned about Christianity and realised with absolute certainty that sheep are God’s chosen people, err, sheep. The Bible says so. Fact.
Just look at the evidence. God sent his only son to deliver the message. Agnus Dei. The Lamb of God. Not the Baby Boy of God. The Lamb.
Who did He say would inherit the earth – the meek. And who’s meeker than sheep? The Lord really is their shepherd. We know this. Even bishops and popes and stuff carry crooks. For herding people? Don’t be silly.
And what about evil? The devil’s got a tail, horns, cloven hooves and a little beard. He’s a goat. Hardly a representation of evil in man, but for sheep... it’s suddenly so clear
In fact, when Jesus was asked to tell people plainly what he was doing he did just that (John 10:24-28):
‘The Jews gathered around him, saying, "How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly."
Jesus answered, "I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father's name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.”’
See, Jesus said he was taking the sheep to heaven. And you ain’t sheep.
So why has the human race ignored the clear facts to think they’re getting into heaven? It looks like it was just one simple typo early on: The chosen weren’t the sons of Abraham but a bah ram. QED
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