My personal ad

Last year I decided to put a personal ad in the paper. So I asked my female friends what should I try to get across, what were women looking for. I consistently got two answers: honesty and a sense of humour. Every woman I asked: honesty and a sense of humour.

Fair enough, but how do you get across 'honesty and a sense of humour' in 130 characters? Not the easiest thing but I thought I'd nailed it with mine (see picture).

Oh yes.

So how many replies did I get? Yep, that's right, none. Not one.

Not a single woman replied. Week after week that advert ran. Nothing.

'Honesty and a sense of humour' my arse. Women don't want that. It's true what they say - women want bastards.

I've decided what ad I'm putting in this year to really appeal to what women want.

Just three words:

'Cunt seeks similar'



Actually none of that is true.

I got quite a few replies (twenty something). I met seven of them who were inteligent attractive interesting women and it actually made me wonder how bad the rest of the men in London must be. But that doesn't lend itself to a decent punchline.